


Hometown fantasy

by hirondelle



Category: Inazuma Eleven
Genre: Aki appears and she is pregnant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Never Met, Bad English, Cultural References, Dating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flirting, Gouenji's Father is a piece of shit in every Universe, Grief/Mourning, I mean it, Identity Issues, Implied HaruAki, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love at First Sight, M/M, Men Crying, Mild Racism, Soulmates, They meet at RocoNatsu's wedding, They talk a lot, Traditional Clothes, What-If, hc: Gouenji's grandparents were Indians, lots of talking, past traumas, sorry - Freeform, they are both in their 30s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:41:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29023632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hirondelle/pseuds/hirondelle
Summary: "What if" in which Daisuke moved in Cotarl and brought his whole family with him, so Endou was born and lived his entire life in Cotarl.He meets Gouenji at the wedding of his best friend, Rococo.Gouenji is now a well known surgeon and left soccer a long time ago... but love for soccer is something that doesn’t go away that easily, right?
Relationships: Endou Mamoru/Gouenji Shuuya, Raimon Natsumi/Rococo Urupa
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. Cross my heart

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I'm doing ok I'm v depressed at the moment but you know the first part is already done so.......

“It’s quite different,” the guy at the other side of the table mumbles, “from a Japanese marriage, I mean”.

“Don’t you say?” the man at his side whispers, sitting uncomfortably on his seat.

Endou looks at them, smiling politely. He can’t figure out the reason behind their concerned looks, but he understands Japanese well enough to catch their words even if there’s the music covering them. “I’m sure of that,” he says, “definitely two different cultures. Mixing together, y’know”

The two strangers jump at that, they probably didn’t expect to be heard. “So you can understand us,” the man on the left says, apologetically. “We didn’t mean to sound rude, it’s just that…” He looks around, like he is really trying to settle in, but without any success. There are a lot of guests moving and chanting on the dance floor (Endou may join them in a while because he likes to dance). “I guess I have a very different concept of tradition”.

Endou follows his nervous laughter with a warmer one. “There’s no need to apologize,” he says. “It’s ok”. It’s understandable, he thinks. He would have felt out of place too, if they had chosen to marry in a Japanese style. Like, maybe not at all- Definitely not as much as he is feeling right now. But it sure would have been an experience.

He smiles at them, friendly as always, because he really would enjoy some company. But they seem to be of a different idea. “I’m gonna go find Aki-san, since I’m here. Don’t you want to come?” one of them says, and his companion nods energetically, getting up already. “Splendid idea. Let’s go”.

So he is left alone again.

Endou can’t really help a scowl while he presses his palm on his left cheek, elbow planted firmly on the full table.

It’s his fourth try.

Rococo and Natsumi planned a wedding following the customs of Cotarl’s tradition. Endou couldn’t really figure out why, since the wedding is taking place in Natsumi’s house and the only people from Cotarl are him and Rococo’s family. Maybe it has something with the fact that Natsumi is really in love with Rococo’s homeland, as he has proven multiple times during his stay at his house, but honestly, even if they have planned everything perfectly, Endou can’t say he is comfortable with the situation. He is the only guest not wearing a tuxedo, since he preferred the colorful Cotarl’s traditional attire. Also, he hasn’t seen Rococo since the ceremony ended. He doesn’t know anybody and it’s not like they are really interested in knowing him, anyway. He doesn’t want to blame Rococo for not finding a seat closer to him at his wedding brunch, but he is starting to feel bored already, not having anybody to talk to.

He is starting to think that he shouldn’t even have to come here in the first place… Natsumi is a kind friend, really, Endou loves her and he is really happy for Rococo, but there is something really upsetting about the situation, even for him. In a way, he thought his first travel in Japan to be quite different. If only he could make some conversation and know someone new, like he actually wants things to be, that would be a great first step.

“So you speak Japanese,” a voice kindly interferes. Endou turns around and looks in disbelief at a pair of sharp and dark eyes. “I thought you were a friend of the bridegroom, aren’t you?”

Endou tilts his head in confusion for a strong handful of seconds, wondering why this stranger is talking to him, since he has noticed him before, and he wouldn’t have ever said he was a talkative one. Then he smiles again, because that’s exactly what he wanted. “Yeah, actually, I’m Japanese,” he chirps. “Like, not exactly. I haven’t ever been in Japan before. My parents are from Japan and we speak Japanese at home”.

“Told you,” says someone else, over the stranger’s shoulders. Endou leans over to look, encountering a pair of aviator’s goggles staring at him. “You don’t have a strong accent, after all,” the guy smiles at him, without an ounce of malice.

The man who talked first politely extends his arm to shake hands. “I’m Gouenji Shuuya”. Endou takes a while, getting a good look at him. He has long, blonde hair left loose on his broad shoulders, and dark skin, more than anyone he has seen there (but he shouldn’t be the one to talk, since his tan made him quite fit in even in a place like Cotarl, so he isn’t one to dictate how much Japanese someone looks like, that’s rude). Anyway, he’s pretty, with those big chocolate eyes staring at him with curiosity.

Even the other stranger greets him with a nod. “Kidou Yuuto,” he simply says, his attire giving Endou the impression he is a very smart man, with his curly hair meticulously braided and combed back. Endou is a bit upset to not be able to see his eyes more clearly. “Actually, Natsumi-san told us about you already, but it’s nice to meet you”.

“Wow,” Endou exclaims as he snaps out of all the thinking and leans to shake both the hands he is offered. “I can’t believe I’m famous”.

Kidou laughs softly. “That’s not quite it, but yeah, we found it curious. To think that she went studying abroad just to meet another Japanese, in a country like Cotarl, too!” He shakes his head, making his curls wave. “It sure was a strange coincidence”.

“Actually, my mother and her father were childhood friends,” Endou recalls. “Maybe it has something to do with this. She stayed at my place for a while”.

Gouenji looks at him, eyes wide. He is pretty, Endou thinks. He looks so calm and collected, he could be mistaken for a prince; in a way, he resembles Rococo. “Really?” he exclaims, “So your mother is from Tokyo, too?”

Endou nods. “Yeah, I guess. She made me look at some photos. I don’t know. I was distracted”. He places a hand behind his nape in embarrassment. He must admit that he hasn’t ever been too fond of Japan, always indulging on his mother’s homesickness, but never quite understanding it, of course.

“That’s crazy,” Kidou muses. He looks at Gouenji, then he goes back staring at him. Endou guesses he is a kind of staring person. “What’s your name, again?”

Endou laughs. “Oh, I never introduced myself, sorry. I’m Endou Mamoru. And my mother was called Endou Atsuko before moving to Cotarl”.

Gouenji crosses his arms and looks up, pensive. “Mmh… no, it doesn’t sound familiar at all,” he murmurs.

“What do you mean?” Endou asks, confused.

Gouenji smiles at him. It’s the first time he sees him actually smiling, though it’s a tiny smile, but Endou is not going to complain. He is beautiful, and the more he looks at him, the more he feels his heart wavering. _Love at first sight_ , they call it. Endou has always been the type and he can’t quite deny it, not now that he is in front of Gouenji Shuuya and he is staring at him like he is the most beautiful thing in the world. He hopes nobody is noticing.

( _someone actually notices_ )

“My family and Natsumi’s are close,” he explains. “We grew up together. But my father never talked about an Endou”.

Endou gasps at that, “You must be…”

He can’t find the right words and it takes a while. This time it’s Kidou’s being the one confused, looking at him from behind Gouenji’s back. Even Gouenji can’t quite understand what is happening, and Endou understands why, since it’s impossible they have known each other before now. Yet, he still remembers him.

“You must be Natsumi’s best friend!” he finally sputters out, “I don’t know why it took me so long. Actually yes, I’m bad with names. You must be Natsumi’s best friend, the one playing soccer!”

Gouenji blinks at that, quite confused with the information. “Best… friend?” he says, lightly blushing. “Well, I guess that’s correct. But I don’t play anymore”.

Hearing that news, Endou jumps from his seat with a surprised gasp. “What do you mean by that?” he cries. Some guests look at him in disbelief and he can tell his behavior made Gouenji uncomfortable, since he looks right and left with an apprehensive face. Endou sits down immediately. He hasn’t ever believed he could get to read a person that easily, but in Gouenji’s case it’s almost instinctual. Endou isn’t sure if Gouenji hears his apology but it doesn’t matter, because he is back talking with him like nothing really happened. His voice is low and steady.

“Not since high school, at least. I’m surprised Natsumi told you something like that. I’m a surgeon, now,” he smiles, almost like he is letting him down. 

“But you went to the Football Frontier International, right?” Endou tries to say desperately, his dreams shattered in pieces. He knows he shouldn’t be so dramatic, but he is. He is dramatic because he has found his soulmate and he can’t even play soccer with him.

Kidou frowns at that. “Wait, how do you know all those things?”

Endou’s cheeks become pink. He almost forgot that someone else is there with them. “Natsumi told me,” he confesses, “and well, Rococo was there too. The same year, actually. But he couldn’t tell if you were there too because he couldn’t remember”.

Gouenji goes silent for a while and Kidou keeps staring at him, to the point he thinks he has just said something wrong. He is ready to put his hands up and apologize again or whatever, until Gouenji shakes his head, hair curling softly on his shoulders. “I wasn’t there. That’s why. We didn’t even make it through the Asian semi-finals”.

He looks sad.

Endou is taken aback by that, feeling like a knot is forming at the base of his stomach. He can tell it’s still an open wound, even after many years. Back then, when Rococo had been chosen over him, he had to deal with a similar kind of grief. It had been ironic, seeing Rococo refusing to take his chance to become a professional, in order to become a diplomat. While he is still _trying_.

“You had to give up,” he murmurs, reading Gouenji’s sorrow through his eyes.

Gouenji seems surprised by his words, but he simply nods. “Yeah. Pretty much”.

“You were so near, too,” he muses, now frowning like every time he needs to think hard. “it must have been tough”.

“You played soccer too, if I’m correct,” Kidou intervenes, “at least it’s what it seems by your choice of words”.

Endou nods, quite proud of it. “Yeah. I still do”.

Gouenji seems interested. “Competitive?”

He must shrug at that. “Not there yet. But a man can dream, am I right?” he smiles. He really believes that. It might be tough sometimes, not being noticed even trying this hard. He played some matches at professional level, sometimes he simply watched them from the bench; nothing came from it, especially for the fact he is just an immigrant in a small country like Cotarl. Soccer isn’t really one of the most loved sports there. He has thought about it, too. “If I really can’t, I’d like to be a teacher and instill my love for soccer into everyone I know”.

“You must really be a soccer freak, then” Kidou chuckles.

Endou can’t really deny it and he was just wondering how much it would take for it to get out. He grins, slightly embarrassed but not uncomfortable by the least: he enjoys Kidou and Gouenji’s company. Like, a lot. He doesn’t feel really judged, even if he can tell he is being put under observation. “That’s why Natsumi told me about you, I guess,” he figures out, talking to Gouenji. “But she probably couldn’t know I would have remembered”.

“That’s fine,” Gouenji says, smiling hesitantly. “I like soccer too”.

“Yes, yes,” Endou says, nodding energetically. “Love for soccer is something that doesn’t go away that easily, right?

Gouenji has an amused look on his face. Endou marvels at his soft expression, looking at the little crinkles at the sides of his eyes. He seems a tired man, too busy to really enjoy a moment like this. He wonders how often he smiles like that. “Yeah, that’s right,” Gouenji nods.

“Looks like someone is getting along!”

They all turn around to see Natsumi, side by side with Rococo, his hand placed softly on her hip. They are literally glowing, wearing Cotarl’s traditional clothes, golden embroidery making them sparkle under the sun.

Natsumi puts her ringed hand on Gouenji shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. “I have to admit, I would have planned this wedding just for you two to meet”.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Gouenji smiles. Endou figures out immediately they are really good friends by the way the guy is looking at her like he hasn’t ever looked at another person before, neither Kidou.

“Are you ok?” Rococo asks him in their domestic language. He’s smiling and he looks genuinely happy, but Endou knows that under his relaxed expression he is hiding a tiny hint of apprehension for him, and maybe, regret.

Endou knows Rococo doesn’t understand Japanese. He knows he just wants to make sure he is fine by using a code only them would know, but he wonders if they should switch to English language or not, since he feels like they are excluding the other guests from their conversation. It doesn’t feel polite. He isn’t sure he can handle a full conversation in his third language, by the way, but he tries to, just to clarify he shouldn’t feel guilty about accidentally isolating him and he is ok. “I’m ok, I met Gouenji and Kidou here” he reassures him, smiling at his best friend and gesturing at his new acquaintances.

Rococo sighs in relief. “That’s good. I couldn’t tell if it really was for the best”.

“What do you mean?” Endou frowns, confused by his strange allusion.

“I insisted that you two would sit next to each other,” Natsumi explains, chuckling. Her cheeks are rosy and warm, maybe for the sun, more likely for the fine wine. “You just… You _had_ to meet each other, just that”.

Kidou makes a strange sound, like he is laughing heartily but he is trying to hide something.

“Hey,” Endou laments, not serious at all. “Just enjoy your day!”

Natsumi laughs. It’s not like Natsumi is a grumpy girl, but he has to admit he has never seen her smiling and laughing like today. “I am!” she exclaims and then she does a little twirl, showing off her beautiful dress. It’s na exclusive piece that once belonged to Rococo’s grandmother: she insisted so much for Natsumi to wear it, even if Endou could swear Natsumi wanted it from the first time she laid her eyes on it.

“White really suits you,” Kidou compliments her politely. “Excellent hairstyle, too”.

“Thank you,” Natsumi blushes again, carefully patting the cloth which perfectly gathers her wonderful red hair. Doing so, her golden band slips down her shoulder. “I should ask Mama for a new brooch, I think the other slipped out while we were dancing… oh”.

Rococo is already sliding his own brooch out of the fold of his large attire, which doesn’t really suit him like Natsumi’s, but gives him an even more dignified look. He silently adjusts Natsumi’s dress and Endou looks at the scene, fascinated by the way they look at each other. They are utterly in love since the very first day and he witnessed their relationship happening for this moment only.

Natsumi feels that she is being watched and becomes even redder, this time for the embarrassment. “I was just saying,” she goes on with a little cough. “I’m glad you two are getting along”.

“We are,” Endou confirms with a big smile. Then he gulps and turns around, realizing they still are two different people by the way, and he shouldn’t speak for Gouenji. “Are we?” he asks apologetically. 

“We are,” Gouenji nods, smiling quietly, and Endou could melt right on the spot.

Natsumi laughs again. She is laughing a lot. “I was just hoping so”.

Endou feels like chuckling too, even if he doesn’t understand. She is up with something for sure, and he’ll let it just happen. It’s her day, right?

“Listen to me,” Gouenji admonishes her. “You aren’t used to drink so much, you are going to regret it tomorrow morning”.

“Right, you promised me we’ll visit Inazuma town as soon as you’ll wake up,” Endou reminds her with a solemn voice. “You must not break the word once given”.

Natsumi’s eyes widen. “Oh… I did?”

Endou chuckles. “Yeah. Last night”.

“Last night I drank too, it was my bachelorette party”.

“So you really are a lightweight”.

“Oh, _shut up_ ”.

Endou lets himself sink in the laughter and the ease by which everybody seems taken all of sudden. He would have never imagined his day to be drastically changed in a matter of minutes. Sheepishly, he makes eye contact with Gouenji: he seems flustered, but his smile is so cool and confident he might be in love with it already. Endou feels _so_ happy all of sudden, for an unknown reason. A bit ashamed by the way Gouenji returns his gaze, like he is having a moment. There’s no way he has imagined it: Endou feels the impellent urge to know everything about this man, this beauty in front of him. He stares back for longer than he gives account.

A little cough draws his attention again. It’s Natsumi’s, who is giving him a strange look. He knows she is cheering for him by the way she smiles at him in amusement. “Anyway, I’m sorry Endou, but I can’t promise you anything anymore”.

Endou scoffs, embarrassed by the way he expected to really see Inazuma town in a span so short, with the wedding still ongoing. “I get it. Don’t worry.”

“Wait a minute,” Kidou interjects. “You said you never came to Japan until now, am I right? For how long are you going to stay?”

Endou nods at him. “I have my return flight this Tuesday”.

“So the day after tomorrow,” Gouenji murmurs, a bit baffled. “It’s soon”.

Endou feels his cheeks getting warmer. He doesn’t wish for something to come from those words and the way he frowns, like he is disappointed by the news. Not a bit. Absolutely not. Luckily, Rococo intervenes before he gets to embarrass himself in front of Gouenji. “You have that match with that team from Republic of Congo, am I right?” he asks him in their mother tongue.

Endou mentally thanks him for stopping him from indulging into his gay panic and tries to find his words again. “I can’t really skip practice for too long,” he tries to explain. “There’s a huge match incoming and I…”

“We can still see Inazuma town tomorrow afternoon,” Natsumi suggests with a smile. “It would be a pity not to. It’s the place where your family used to live, after all. I’m sure that by noon we’ll all be ready to go!”

Endou shakes his head. “I mean, it’s your day. I shouldn’t insist, you should enjoy the wedding first,” he points out.

Natsumi laughs, as if she finds the thought ridiculous. “Please Endou, I have all the time in the world to enjoy my marriage!”

Rococo imitates her, pressing a kiss on her cheek. He smiles at him encouragingly. “It’s fine, Mamoru,” he says brotherly. “You should think a little for yourself! Not that you’ll never come back, but it’s a good occasion to get a look around”.

“Besides, we have Gouenji with us,” Natsumi chirps. “He knows Inazuma town like the palm of his hand!”

Gouenji makes a strange expression at that, as if he didn’t expect it, but also as if he isn’t pleased by it either. Endou gulps, now feeling uncomfortable. He doesn’t know anything about him, but he can tell by the way he frowns and mutters out an upset “me?” that he’s not really down with the idea.

“Of course, Gouenji! I know you took time off for tomorrow, too. You _will_ come, right?” Natsumi asks _without really asking_ , since Endou has seen that face of her already and he knows there’s no space for objections.

“Alright,” he says, flat. “But don’t you dare calling sick tomorrow”.

_Why did she do this? He obviously doesn’t want to come!_

He wants to intervene, if nothing to spare Gouenji from something he doesn’t really want to do. “Listen, Natsumi,” Endou tries to say, but she quickly claps her hands to emphasize that the discussion has ended, and he must draw back.

“Ok boss! Let’s meet in front of Raimon Junior High tomorrow. Endou, I’ll let you know the position, it’s not far from the hotel you are staying”.

“Uh… ok…” he murmurs, still not sure about it. He feels upset by the thought of visiting the place where his grandfather used to live with his potential soulmate, _who may or not may hate the mere idea_ _of carrying him around._

He has to make sure it’s really ok.

“Gouenji-san,” he murmurs politely, turning around to look at him. “Are you sure it’s alright? I don’t want you to feel pressured”.

It’s silly, Gouenji must know Natsumi since ages, there’s no need to guard him from how her assertiveness might be a bit too much at times, and yet he can’t help but worry.

Gouenji gives him a half smile, a bit cocky. “It’s alright, Endou-san,” he answers back. “Natsumi is right, I know the place. If she’ll not feel well, _and it might be the case_ … you shouldn’t go there alone. It’s the best solution”.

Endou almost admires his pragmatism. He blushes as he smiles at him, softly staring at him, because at this point, he can’t really help it. He doesn’t even try to pretend he is ashamed anymore. A little chuckle and a loud cough are the things that snap him out of Gouenji’s spell.

“We are still here, you know,” Rococo scoffs. Kidou laughs. Natsumi must turn around to cover her face.

“I…” Endou murmurs, a bit bamboozled. There’s no way Gouenji hasn’t noticed this time. Endou turns at him and chuckles an apology, hand firmly pressed at the base of his neck. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs.

“It’s ok Endou, I’m used to it,” Gouenji jokes, without sounding arrogant. He just seems so confident, and smug, without really sounding a prick. How does he do that? Endou is definitely in awe.

He can almost see Natsumi pinch the base of her nose in distress and amusement. “Alright, that’s enough. I can’t stand you two already. That was a bad idea”.

Endou must disagree. He grins.


	2. Show me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things happen in this chapter, but I'm proud of the result of my writing :) please enjoy and sorry for the mistakes <3

“So, Natsumi ditched us, uh?”

They are in front of the gates of Raimon Junior High and there is not, in fact, any trace of Natsumi Raimon. Gouenji sobs. “I guess that’s to be expected,” he comments, swiping and tapping the screen of his smartphone in search of any sign from their friend. Of course, Natsumi hasn’t accessed to her device since four A.M. Gouenji isn’t totally sure her absence is, in fact, just a random occurrence. Natsumi has planned this. But of course, he saw it coming, because they are friends before they even knew how to walk, and he knows her more than he knows Inazuma town which he knows like the palm of his hand, _precisely_.

The thing is… why?

He raises his head towards Endou. In place of the traditional robes, he wore at the ceremony, now he is dressed in a simple sweatshirt and a pair of worn-out jeans. He is still wearing that odd orange headband. And he is indeed a beautiful man; with those big strong arms and the tanned face covered in freckles. And that smile, too.

He is beautiful indeed but Gouenji doesn’t know why Natsumi seems of the idea that they are made for each other.

Sure, they both played soccer (Endou still does, apparently), but that’s it. He is a surgeon now, a very boring one to be precise, and it’s probably not someone Endou would want at his side. He seems too cheerful for that.

“So,” Endou chuckles, embarrassed as he is, “This is Raimon Junior High, right?”

“Yeah,” Gouenji nods. “This tells you anything?”

Endou shakes his head, like he is trying to remember something. “Just that my grandpa used to coach the soccer club”.

Gouenji looks over the fence, a little distracted by the flocks of students crowding the schoolyard. “I think that’s possible. But there has not been a soccer club for decades,” he mumbles. “There might still be the building, though”.

“Really?!” Endou exclaims, surprised.

“Yeah. I have no idea why they refused to tear it down, but it was still there when I came here…” Gouenji coughs. “I don’t know if they changed their minds overtime though, it’s been years”.

Endou jolts, smiling like an overexcited kid. “Let’s find out! Can we walk in?”

Gouenji shrugs. The gates are open wide, many kids are still wandering around the school building, and no teacher in sight. Lessons must be over. “I don’t know about that, but we aren’t doing anything wrong, after all. Let’s see,” he mumbles.

“You are amazing, Gouenji-san!” Endou chirps.

He must blush at that, because it’s so sudden and spontaneous it almost makes him cringe. “I didn’t do anything…” he mutters.

Endou seems to have realized that. He grins, caressing his nape in embarrassment. “Well, I’m just glad you are here. With me. Uhm, not in that sense, I’m…” He stumbles over his own words, and Gouenji must admit he is very cute. He snorts a little.

“It’s ok, I think I got it,” he teases at him. Endou gives him a shy smile.

It takes all his energies to prevent himself from staring at him for too long. Gouenji clears his throat. “So, let’s go in,” he suggests.

“Sure,” Endou mutters, before following him through the gates.

Gouenji is a bit baffled by the sensation. It’s been too long, maybe too much time, and yet everything is quite the same. There are memories that he had tried to bury there, feelings he doesn’t want to retrieve. But he is an adult now, a successful and acclaimed surgeon, nothing compared to the gloomy, grieving teenager he once was. So he lets everything go and he walks in the schoolyard like he hasn’t ever really been there. 

Natsumi knew, and yet, he wanted to test him. Gouenji makes sure to live up to her expectations, too.

“It’s huge,” Endou comments, fascinated to see all these students wandering from a block to the other. “Do all those kids study here?”

“Yeah, but at this hour they are probably attending club activities or some preparatory course,” Gouenji explains. “They usually stay here until dinner”.

Endou becomes paler. “For that long?” he quivers.

Gouenji chuckles at his terrified expression. Before he can even answer, he sees someone approach them, breathless for the anxiety and the mild run. “What are you doing here?” the man says as he gets closer, “This is a middle school, you aren’t authorized to…”

Gouenji recognizes the man immediately. He got older for sure, and changed his glasses, but he can still remember his former professor’s name. “Fuyukai-sama,” he salutes him before bowing respectfully. Endou imitates him, a bit clumsy in the unfamiliar movement.

The man looks dazzled by the fact he is being recognized. “Have we met before?” he murmurs, sweating nervously.

“I’m a former student,” Gouenji explains flatly. “You can’t remember me, since I stayed here for less than two years, but…”

Fuyukai stares at him for a good minute, and his expression change as he seems to realize something. “You must be Gouenji Shuuya!” he exclaims. Gouenji blinks, astonished by the fact he was able to recognize him even in his plain bomber and his hair down. “Of course,” Fuyukai goes on, now being the one bowing profusely, “One of the best students Raimon Junior High had had the privilege to assist. And one of the best surgeons in Tokyo, in the end! Your reputation precedes you, Gouenji-san.”

Endou lets slip an astonished “Really?” before turning his head towards Gouenji with an amazed look on his face. He would like to deny it.

Gouenji is used to being lavished with compliments and attentions, but somehow, there’s something bothering him every time. Now that Endou is there with him, even more than usual. He clears his throat, hiding his awkwardness. “Yes, precisely. We are here to have a look at the soccer club, if it’s possible”.

The confusion on Fuyukai’s face is obvious. “S-soccer club?” he mutters.

“The building,” Gouenji clarifies, mimicking the structure with his fingers.

“Oh, of course,” the teacher chuckles. “Well, it’s still there. For some reasons. I guess it’s a sort of memorial by now”. Fuyukai beckons them to follow him, and so they do, staying behind in odd silence while the man keeps on blabbering. “You know, I’m waiting to be principal just to pull down that damn shack, it doesn’t surprise me at all that there’s nobody willing to start a soccer club in such horrendous place. Of course, it’s been some time”.

Gouenji peeks at Endou to catch his reaction at those insensitive words, and all he can see is his serious expression as he stares at the teacher’s back like he wants to pierce him. Somehow, he finds the scene quite funny.

As they turn the corner, the little shack is already visible, prey of decay and neglect. At least the grass all around has been finely trimmed. The grey steel bars seem to be the only thing holding it up for good.

“Here, I don’t have the key to open it, but I think you can see something through the windows,” Fuyukai states as they approach the building. “I have to admit I never imagined it would have become a site of pilgrimage, somehow”.

Gouenji lets the provocation slide, as he stays behind in order to let Endou observe the place by himself. “His grandfather used to coach the previous soccer team,” he explains briefly. “It’s been some time”.

“Really,” Fuyukai scoffs, “I don’t remember any soccer club in my twenty years of teaching”.

Endou is ignoring their conversation. He lingers in front of the door of the structure like it’s supposed to open at any moment. His calloused fingers trace the dirty frame of the windows, his eyes piercing through their dusty glass. Gouenji can’t help but observe him even while talking with his former teacher. “It’s strange, it’s like… the effect of a sort of spell,” he mumbles. Endou shows no signs of hearing him, his hand on the old wooden signboard hanging precariously at the entrance. The writing is faded and illegible.

Gouenji feels his heart throb accelerating as if it’s about him.

“So, who was he?” Fuyukai asks Endou with a friendliness that doesn’t really suit him.

Endou seems to hesitate for some moments. Then Gouenji quietly looks at him as he turns around, and smiles, and says: “No one”.

Endou is unusually quiet after that, almost annihilated and Gouenji misses him already. They walk side by side for a while, until a thought comes at him. “Is there a place in particular that you want to visit?”

His words seem to catch Endou off guard. He looks lost in his own thoughts, his face serious and blank. He stumbles a bit and then asks: “Sorry? What did you say?”

“I asked if there’s a place you want to see before we visit the town,” Gouenji explains. He can’t help but feel worried for him, even if he can’t imagine the emotional shock he must gave felt. “It’s not that big, anyway…”

Endou scratches his cheek with a finger. “Well, he mumbles, while searching for something inside his pockets. “I took some family photos with me, but I don’t know how they would be useful”.

Gouenji smiles, extending his hand to encourage him. “Let’s see,” he says, “I’m curious”.

Endou’s lips curve shyly. He takes his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans and rummages through the mess for a while, until he slides out a bunch of faded polaroids. “Here,” he mutters, showing them to him.

He gives them a fond look. One of them is a simple portrait of who must be Endou’s grandfather with his only daughter, just a little bundle between his big strong arms. The similarity is astounding, to be fair. “The house behind is the one they used to live in,” Endou explains, bending over him and pressing a finger on the photo (Gouenji figured out he has no sense of personal space, somehow, but it doesn’t bother him that much).

Gouenji looks at the photo attentively. “I’m sorry, but this doesn’t seem familiar at all,” he admits after a while. “Could it be It’s at the other side of the river? I don’t know that part of the city very well”.

Endou chuckles. “I don’t know. Don’t worry, it’s ok”.

“Really?” Gouenji frowns.

Endou nods, smiling at him like he has sorted his thoughts out eventually. “Yeah. Like… That house must belong to another family by now. It doesn’t matter”.

Gouenji nods, less firmly. “Right,” he agrees. He makes his gaze slide through the photos. They are all pictures of the town center, some of them were taken from what he recognizes as the riverside, the old bridge of steel towering over a dirt soccer field. And then…

“That’s a sunset,” he murmurs, eyes lingering on the last photo.

“Yeah,” Endou nods, “I’m sorry, this must have slipped in for accident…”

“No,” Gouenji raises his eyes. “I know the place,” he confesses.

He seems stunned. “You do?”

Gouenji nods. “It’s not far from the center. If we hurry, we could be there before sunset and…”

“I- I would love it-“ Endou stammers even before he can finish the sentence.

They look at each other. Blushing slightly, like children who have been caught with hands in the cookie jar. Gouenji smiles shyly, not knowing what for. “Shall we go, then?”

It’s been a while. Gouenji climbs the stairs feeling dizzy with nostalgia and excitement. The tower was renovated some years ago and it feels more solid under his feet, but it’s quite the same as then, when he used to go up there every time he needed some time for himself (which it means, whenever he got out of school and needed some space after hours being closed in a clumsy class).

Endou seems ecstatic: he looks at the green ground, then at the sky, almost avoiding crossing his eyes with the horizon. The sun is hanging low in the sky, almost touching the quiet hills over the town.

“It’s… beautiful,” he purrs, getting at his side as they reach the platform just under the big symbol of the bolt towering Inazuma town.

“I know,” Gouenji smiles, “No wonder your grandfather kept memory of this place”. 

Endou crosses his arms over the balustrade, mesmerized by the way the sky is coloring itself with delicate shades of pink and orange. “I have never been this high, I guess. Well, except those times I climb trees”.

Gouenji chuckles, he can’t help but think Endou is funny. There’s this unintentionally comical side of him that intrigues him like any other. “You took a plane to get here,” he points out.

“That’s true, eheh,” is Endou’s answer. They make eye contact for a few instants and smile at each other.

Gouenji imitates his posture, leaning over the railing with his arms crossed. He observes for a few instances the city under them, all those velvet roofs standing out against the green profile of the hills that still surround Inazuma. It’s been years since he moved out from the district and still, even if it was just for two or three years, that was a place he could call home.

“Would you ever move here, if you had the chance?” he asks, lost in his thoughts. “I mean, would you ever come back?”

Endou takes a while before answering to his question. Gouenji turns his head and catches his serious expression, his fond dark eyes reflecting the colors of the sky. “I don’t know,” he murmurs after a while. “Maybe. It’s not like I would _come back_ , since I’ve never lived here in the first place. It’s like I… I was never meant to be here, after all”.

Gouenji purses his lips, not knowing what to say. A part of him wished for a different answer and he wouldn’t be able to explain why his words made him feel that upset. But in a way, he decides to respect his perspective, if nothing because it seems pretty reasonable. “Yeah,” he says, “It’s very likely you don’t feel any connection to this place, even if your family came from here”.

Endou scoffs, like he is laughing at himself. Gouenji yelps a little, not sure what to expect. “To be fair, I feel the same thing when I’m in Cotarl too, even after living there all my life, you know…”

“Isn’t it… Isn’t it your homeland?” Gouenji tries to say.

Endou shakes his head. “You know, not really. Well, I was raised as a Japanese all my life, after all,” he tries to explain. He seems nervous, scratching his cheeks with his index. “And you know what, it’s hard for a Japanese to live as a Japanese in a place like Cotarl, even if I can’t quite explain it. People are nice, but you don’t… you don’t really feel like you belong there, and it’s not just because you are different, or look different. It’s the people… people make you feel different. Well, just _more_ different. Even in times they don’t mean it”.

Gouenji lowers his gaze. “It must have been… awful, to feel rejected like that” he comments.

He chuckles, like he wants to relieve some of the tension. “My mom always hated that place. Maybe it didn’t really help, but she is a good mother after all”.

Gouenji smiles back. “To be honest, I wasn’t going to ask you this question, but at this point… I mean, why did your family move there, in the first place?”

Endou shakes his head. “I don’t know. My grandpa was a good man, but not of too many words. Whenever I tried to ask, he refused to give me a proper answer,” he tells confidentially, in a way that makes Gouenji’s heart flutter a little. “but you know, I had a feeling that whatever was the reason, it was nothing good”.

“Do you think he was running away from something? Or… someone?” Gouenji asks, unable to stop his curiosity by now.

Endou shrugs. “He was a really quiet man, almost seraphic, but sometimes… like, I don’t wanna say he was crazy,” he makes a circling gesture of his finger at the side of his head. “But sometimes he became very nervous and used to stare out of the window for hours. It was like he feared he was being followed. Well, there’s not much else I can say. At some point he seemed to have it sorted out perfectly, more or less when I was a boy, I think”.

“That’s strange,” he points out. “Really strange…”

“Well, he’s been gone for years. I guess I’ll never know the truth,” Endou smiles. “And you? What about you?”

Gouenji startles, not expecting it at all. “Me?”

Endou’s smile widens. It’ almost blinding him. “Yeah. Like, don’t feel pressured to talk to me if you don’t want to, it’s just… I don’t want you to feel bored, I know I can be too chatty at times”.

“I…” Gouenji hesitates. “I’m a surgeon,” he murmurs, almost blandly.

“Yeah, I know. You told me yesterday,” Endou chuckles. “And Mister Fuyukai knew it, too”.

“Right,” he smiles sheepishly. “Well, what do you… want to know, then?”

Endou gestures at the view in front of them. “Whatever you want. Or, we can stay here a little more if you want, just watching the sunset. I’m fine either way”.

“Ok,” Gouenji murmurs. “Just… let’s stay here, for a while”.

Endou nods, as if nothing happened. His gaze drowns himself again in the last daylight.

Gouenji stands there, quiet and a bit nervous, not knowing if that was the right choice after all.

It’s not like he doesn’t trust Endou. Yet, even after years, he feels like it’s too soon to really open up. It’s always been his weakness: to not be able to accept his past and talk about it freely, even with Kidou, after all those years of friendship. But there’s something about Endou, pushing him outside of his bubble, with a disarming simplicity that makes him quiver and hope in something he hasn’t ever known. He sighs. “Do you want to know why I left soccer?” he murmurs.

Endou seems surprised, but he smiles at him anyway. “Only if you want to talk about it,” he specifies again.

Gouenji leans a bit more over the balustrade. “It’s ok,” he says. “It’s just… I’m not sure if I want to tell you everything”.

“Whatever the reason, I’ll be here to listen”.

Gouenji looks at him and knows that he means it.

He smiles to himself.

“I…” he starts telling, “There was a time I wanted nothing to do with soccer”.

“Really?” Endou asks, visibly baffled.

Gouenji nods. He hates the way his voice gets weaker. “Something happened. An accident.” He looks at him and he nods, like if he wants to invite him to go on. “So I moved here. To pull myself away from my previous team. And I was like… in middle school”.

“And you never… played again?” Endou tries to guess.

Gouenji shakes his head. “I did. In third grade. I was called to join the national, do you remember?”

He nods. “I do,” he just says.

“Well, I was confused. I didn’t think I deserved it anyway. But then, I met Kidou. He was there for me… And we were there for each other. That’s how I learned to love soccer all over again”.

Endou can’t have missed the way he paused at that. He sighs.

“And then… you know, my father”.

“What about your father?” Endou frowns.

Gouenji smiles awkwardly. “He was… quite strict. Like, he still is. But now I’m thirty, lucky me”.

Endou smiles. “And a surgeon”.

“He was son of two physician who moved in Tokyo from India, just after the war. And he is a doctor too,” Gouenji explains. “And… I have to admit, he had complete control over me back then, I couldn’t impose myself. I managed to retract a last match, but nothing more”.

“He must be a really cruel man,” Endou muttered. His face is the depiction of pure outrage and almost makes him laugh.

“It took a while, but I think I figured him out eventually,” he answers back. “He still hadn’t forgotten that… accident. And he pressured me to honor the family legacy. To become a physician, too. But he did it so that I had a future, and enough financial security… so that I could move on and have a good life, I guess. It must not have been easy, being a son of immigrants in a place like Japan. In a way, I understand him, especially now that I’m an adult”.

“But in order to fulfill his wish…”

“I left soccer,” Gouenji concludes.

“You left soccer…”

He doesn’t know why Endou seems so disappointed by that. But even he can’t ignore the lump at the base of his throat as he hears Endou repeating his own words. In a way, it hurts. Hearing it from someone else hurts more than just saying it. He sighs, his unsteady breath giving him notice of how fragile he still his, even after fifteen years.

He can’t allow Endou to see it.

“Maybe that’s why I feel more Japanese than Indian, anyway,” he tries to laugh it off, turning his back to the horizon. There’s almost no light left, and their faces are barely illuminated by the neon over their heads. “My father must have traumatized me,” he comments, pointing his gaze to the sky above them. The neon is so intense it’s barely possible to see the first stars.

“Show me”.

Gouenji feels like he has just dreamed that. “What?” he says, eyes back to Endou. He is looking at him with an enthusiasm and a resolution he hasn’t ever seen in any other man.

“Show me what you can do,” Endou explains. “You still love soccer, right?”

“Right,” Gouenji says, reluctantly. “But it’s been a while, I don’t know if…”

Endou puts a hand on his shoulder and suddenly he feels he might combust. He remains speechless, looking at him with eyes wide open, not knowing what to do, what to say to this man in front of him, the same man who is looking at him like he owns the world.

“Gouenji, love for soccer is not something that disappear that easily. And this applies to our talent, too. Our passion. Our will to play again, over and over, even if it’s been decades”.

He looks very serious while he says that. Gouenji would really like to laugh, but it’s like he has been paralyzed. He stares at him, lips slightly parted as he assimilates what he is saying to him.

“Show me, Gouenji,” Endou repeats. And smiles. “Show me your love”.


	3. By the light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired I'll have it beta'd later on as usual

“ _That was amazing_ ,” he exclaimes, again. For, like, the nth time. He can’t help but jump all around Gouenji, giving all the compliments that comes to his mind. “You sure are great, Gouenji-san!”

He seems embarrassed, truly, for the first time since they met. “I mean, I was clearly out of shape”.

“Do you mean it was even _better_ back then?!” Endou screams.

“Sssh,” Gouenji whispers, smiling silently, as they enter a residential area right after passing through the park. Everyone must be dining at that hour and from the partly opened windows there it comes a good smell of cabbages that makes his stomach twist a little. But he doesn’t have the courage to tell Gouenji.

He tries to lower his tone of voice instead. “How was it called? _Fire Tornado_ right? Have you thought about an evolution?”

“Actually, yes,” Gouenji murmurs, almost shyly. “There’s another hissatsu called _Bakunetsu Screw_ that resembles it. But I’m pretty sure I can’t show it to you”.

“Why?” Endou almost cries and goofily shows off his biceps, which he knows being big enough to impress him anyway. “Do you think I wouldn’t be able to stop it? I’m strong!”

Gouenji chuckles. “I have no doubt about it. But I used it just once and I’m afraid I forgot how to do it”.

Endou grins and gives him a little punch on his shoulder. “No way, you are fooling me!”

He rubs the point their bodies collided, even if Endou knows he has been gentle. “It’s true, you know! It’s really been years”.

“Well, this only means that you’ll show me when you’ll have it perfectioned,” Endou laughs. “Give me notice and I’ll get into that plane just for you”.

Gouenji stops walking and for a moment time stops. At first Endou doesn’t understand why. He looks at him, afraid he has said something wrong once again, but Gouenji’s expression doesn’t seems angry, neither upset. Just… confused, and sad. Just then, Endou gets it. There are a lot of things he doesn’t get about him, but one of these must be discretion.

“I’m… sorry,” he murmurs. “Maybe I went too far,” he starts to apologize, but Gouenji stops him, shaking his head briefly.

“I…” the surgeon says. “That’s not it. Sorry. I… It just, felt strange”.

Endou sighs. He doesn’t want to ruin anything, even if he knows that’s silly from him. They barely know each other, and yet, he can’t help to wish for Gouenji to be his friend one day. “Sorry,” he says again, this time placing a hand on the base of his nape as every time he is truly embarrassed. “I know, I have no sense of boundaries”.

“It’s ok,” Gouenji says, but he still seems hesitant. Then he laughs, relieving some of the tension. “You are not at fault here. It’s just… It’s insane. I never imagined I would hear such a thing in my entire life”.

Endou smiles. “I know, I talk funny most of the time. And I say a lot of bullshit, too,” he excuses himself. “I shouldn’t have said that. But, you know, I’m really curious about your hissatsu. About you in general. I can’t help it”.

Gouenji tilts his head. “I don’t know if I should feel more flattered or flustered,” he jokes. “Guess I’ll work on _Bakunetsu Screw_ anyway, since you asked so gently”.

“Are you flirting with me?”

“You started it, Endou”.

They look at each other, straight in the eyes, for too many seconds. The first bursting into laughs is Endou, and Gouenji follows him, like they are fifteen years younger. Gouenji _looks_ younger. He can almost see the small wrinkles at the side of his eyes disappear and his half smile becoming wider and wider. He is beautiful.

“You are so silly,” Gouenji comments after a while, trying to regain composure. “And this is so embarrassing”.

Here there is, that expression on his face giving him an air of professionalism even if they are out of the operating room, miles afar from whatever hospital he works in. Endou can’t help but think that he is beautiful like this, too.

“I’ll be more careful with my words,” he lies and smiles at him almost innocently. Then a low growl right from his belly breaks into their conversation and Endou looks down, almost surprised to hear it. “Well, should I make it up to you?”

“How?” Gouenji asks, visibly trying to contain another laughter, his cheeks quite rosy at this point. He looks at him like he is trying to say something more, his gaze so intense Endou feels transfixed by it. He is thrilled just thinking about Gouenji’s stare piercing his interns like a pin.

Is it even real? In just a day, Endou feels he’s getting more than what he would actually deserve in a normal circumstance. More than what he would have accomplished if he had known him fifteen, twenty years ago. Should he push his luck even further? Endou doesn’t feel that brave, even if just dreaming about it is enough to make him wish. And he wishes, so hard he feels ridiculous.

“Would you let me to get you dinner?” Endou offers. “Of course, it’s also a way to thank you for guiding me through Inazuma town”.

Gouenji’s eyebrows are raised in surprise, as he smiles at him.

Endou keep on wishing, as much as Gouenji allows him to.

The hot table seems busy, but Gouenji looks pretty comfortable in stepping in without any reservation. “They are friends of mine,” he explains. “Whenever I worked in Inazuma’s hospital as a new graduate I used to come here often. The previous cook passed away some years ago, now his two pupils own the place”.

“Oh,” Endou comments, not really knowing what to say. He hasn’t ever been in a ramen shop before, even if his mother used to prepare a lot of dishes from Japanese cuisine. He is a bit stunned by the strong and delicious smell coming from behind the thick curtains of the entrance door, but he has no clue of the size of the room behind them. There seem to be a lot of people chatting to each other and laughing. “Should we just go inside then? Is there enough room?”

Gouenji Is about to speak again, when two women get out of the restaurant in that precise moment. They have familiar faces and Endou figures out immediately he must have met them at the wedding.

“Gouenji-kun!” one of them calls, surprised to see the surgeon there. She wears red glasses and has a bob haircut that frames her round face perfectly.

“Haruna,” Gouenji yelps, his gaze lingering from her to her friend, a tiny and visibly pregnant woman with big and dark eyes. “Aki!”

“What are you doing here? You don’t come here often since you have moved out,” Aki smiles, seeming happy and curious to see Gouenji there. Endou stands aside, simply witnessing their conversation.

“I came here to show Endou around… uh, Endou?” Gouenji calls, as he looks around to look for him.

“Hi,” Endou promptly bows, almost shyly. For some reasons, knowing some of Gouenjis’ friends from Inazuma town gives him mixed feelings, even if he can’t really wrap his head around it. “Nice to meet you!”

“Oh, I saw you! Rococo’s best man if I’m correct!” the woman named Haruna recalls. “I’m not gonna lie! You really caught some attention there! So you really are Japanese after all?”

“Yes,” Endou nods, smiling as the woman’s genuine curiosity makes him feel more at ease. “My family is from Inazuma” he explains briefly.

“No way!” Aki exclaims, looking at him.

Gouenji chuckles. “Yeah, that’s pretty crazy. Natsumi asked me to show him the place, you know how it is… and I willingly complied, of course”.

Endou pretends those words haven’t had any effect on him, but he can’t help the blush reddening his cheeks. He laughs openly and he can almost see Haruna and Aki’s eyes widen. Since he has come there, he has become quite aware of the effect his huge smile has on people. He is not sure why, and he doesn’t know if it’s bothering him or not, but he has come to the conclusion it’s quite funny seeing all those impressions on everyone’s faces. Especially Gouenji’s. Gouenji who blushes vividly and squints every time he makes any move on him but simply _lets it happen_.

“That’s so cool! Have you shown him the school already? And the riverside?” Haruna smirks, almost mockingly. “Inazuma’s not that big after all!”

“We had a quite nice ride,” Gouenji confirms, then whispers: “Endou’s flight is tomorrow by the way”.

Endou gulps. Yeah, he quite forgot. Suddenly he realizes how late it is and how little time he’s left. He looks at Gouenji, apparently unbothered and collected. He decides to not say anything, but his stomach knots.

“What a pity,” Aki murmurs, looking over him. She seems a nice girl: Endou wonders if they would have been friends if things had gone differently: he can’t really guess, but something about her is really comforting and Endou decides that he really likes her. Haruna too, she seems so cheerful and upbeat without sounding annoying.

“You made the right choice bringing him here,” Aki states, her eyes sliding from him to Gouenji and then returning to him again for some reasons. “Tobitaka’s special dish is Hibiki’s delicacy, do you remember it, right?”

“I’m sure he’ll love it,” Gouenji smiles. He looks directly at him. “Only if he likes spicy food as he states, obviously”.

“I _love_ spicy food,” Endou retorts confidently, almost challenging him. Haruna chuckles and draws his attention. “What it is?” he asks.

She giggles enigmatically at that. “Nothing, it’s just like my brother said”. Aki gently hits her with her elbow, but she is smiling too.

“Uh?” Endou asks, a bit puzzled.

Aki takes Haruna’s hand and chuckles too. “Nothing you should worry about. Anyway, we are going home. My back hurts a little”.

Endou decides to ignore whatever that was. Eventually, he will ask Gouenji about it, since he seems to know everything. He smiles at her: “How long now, Aki-san?”

Aki caresses her tummy so proudly it’s almost like she is flourishing just with the gesture. “Six months! And counting…”

“Congratulations,” Endou exclaims enthusiastically. He takes her hands almost on instinct and shakes them gently. “Your husband must be a really lucky man, to have such a nice girl by his side! And I’m sure you’ll be a such caring mom, too!”

A stony silence falls on them, as Gouenji, Haruna and Aki stare at him with wide eyes. He chuckles. “Ops,” he says, afraid he did something indelicate once again, but he is saved by Haruna’s bursting laughter. For some reasons, Gouenji shakes his head and squirms. Aki gives him a shy and amused smile.

“I like him! Don’t you dare to let him go!” Haruna declares while still pulling herself together, her cheeks all red from laughing. She is looking at Gouenji himself and Endou blinks. What Gouenji has to do with his flight? He wants to say something, but Haruna has already took Aki’s arm under her elbow. “We really have to go! Enjoy your night, Endou-san! See you _very_ soon!”

Endou can’t help but stare at the two women as they rush in the opposite direction, Aki waving a hand timidly. “Bye, Endou-san!” she says while reaching Haruna’s side.

“What the…” Endou murmurs, turning around just to look at Gouenji’s flustered face. “What happened just now?!”

This time, it’s Gouenji grabbing his arm. He has quite a bewildered look that kinda suits him in a odd way. “They… Well, this will be for another time. Let’s go inside, now. Please”.

It’s not like Endou wants to complain, but he can’t help the way his eyes lay on the point in which the two friends disappeared. He lets Gouenji push him towards the restaurant without saying a single thing: he feels like he talked too much for that day already.

Two hours and too many liters of spicy soup later, they get out of the ramen shop with two extra bowls and a portion of fried chicken. Gouenji seems totally stunned. “I haven’t seen Fudou giving out leftovers for free in over ten years that I know him,” he comments, looking at the plastic bag with his eyes out of his head. “ _How_ did you do it?!”

“It’s soccer,” Endou smiles at him, almost philosophically. “It’s soccer bringing everyone together. I just knew he was a nice guy as soon as he told me he played in the Juniores”.

“I’m serious, Endou,” Gouenji grumps, but he falls quiet when Endou gives him the bag.

“You keep it. I can’t take it on the plane, I just know. They didn’t let me take anything with me last time”.

“This is how planes work,” Gouenji mumbles, taking the bag without a fuss. They walk out of the town center to reach the first disposable traffic road. Gouenji has already called a taxi for him to reach the hotel before the reception reports him missing. “And… don’t you dare change the topic. Kidou ain’t going to believe this”.

Endou chuckles, giving him a curious look. “What’s Kidou got to do with Fudou?” he asks, a bit inquisitory. “Oh, and you still have to tell me what Haruna meant back then. Is Kidou her brother? I think it’s him because I haven’t talked with many people at the wedding except you two”.

Gouenji shakes his head. It’s clear he doesn’t really want to get into the details of that conversation they have had just hours before. “Fudou is Kidou’s… well, it’s complicated, honestly. I don’t know anymore,” he smiles. “But sure, Haruna is Kidou’s little sister. And you managed to win over the three of them already. Plus Aki, by the way… and there’s Natsumi, too”.

“What does it even mean?” Endou laughs, light-heartedly.

Gouenji stops. Endou turns around, finding him standing still and staring at him with a quite indecipherable expression on his tired face. “That you managed to get along with, you know, most of my friends,” he finally recalls. “In less than 24 hours. And now they’ll probably think…”

“That I’m gonna stay?” Endou anticipates him.

His expression changes already and Endou smiles at him sheepishly: Gouenji might be forthright, but he knows he can be too direct at times. At this point, he just knows that the thing they have created in just a day is obvious at the point it’s out in the open for everyone to see. Endou didn’t expect for Gouenji to get it all out like this, but this just makes sense, as he seems a man of actions above any other thing.

 _And Endou dares_.

“The thing is,” Gouenji huffs. “You aren’t. You aren’t going to stay, Endou-san. Obviously so. This is what they don’t get”.

Endou puts his clenched hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt and stays in silence for a while. They’ve already reached the empty road, the old suburb being quiet as usual on that Monday’s night. Endou looks up and stares at the empty sky.

He knows Gouenji is right.

He can’t deny it. He doesn’t have any feeling towards this place. It just made him remember how much he misses his grandpa and how much he wishes they had talked more back in the days. He feels bad about Raimon’s soccer club, that pitiful, glimmery ghost of a never born. He feels bad about a home that isn’t even his. He still thinks about Aki’s kind smile and tries to imagine her at school, when her and Gouenji met for the first time, exactly how Gouenji told him just before. He tries to figure out a younger Gouenji, all he gets is a kid all hunched over for all those regrets and overwhelming responsibilities. He has no face. It’s like he doesn’t really exist, and it makes sense, because Gouenji has never been in his life neither for a single second. Until now.

“What if things had been different?” he murmurs. He lowers his gaze towards him, and he is slow, too slow. He is afraid of something he doesn’t even know. “Do you think we would have been friends?”

Gouenji is silent. Now too serious, suddenly too shut-in for Endou to decipher him. And he remembers they are strangers.

“I do,” Endou confesses eventually. “I do believe we would have been friends. And that we would have done so many great things together”.

“But we aren’t friends,” Gouenji states, almost too harshly.

“And we can’t be,” Endou concludes. He looks at the cab approaching lazily from behind a corner. It has a funny color and seems too large for a single person. “Because I feel like we are more than that already”.

“Endou…” Gouenji almost reprimes him.

Endou doesn’t skip a beat. He wants to dare a little more, a little harder. It’s probably the fact he’ll might not see Gouenji ever again to make him so bold and so desperate, the mere thought actually amusing him. He feels so ridiculous and his heart is starting to ache: he’d never felt so alone and so damn _near_ to be fulfilled in his entire life. “Since the first time I saw you, I actually though you’ll may be my soulmate. And you know, at first it was just a joke I’d tell myself to make fun of my misery. But think about this: doesn’t it sound like fate to you?” he asks. “What are the odds of us understanding each other so well?”

Gouenji shakes his head and bites his lip, like he is trying to hold back from saying something. And Endou decides to press one last time. The cab is approaching slowly, probably ready to witness their last conversation. Endou isn’t.

“I may not know much about you. Sure, you are beautiful and charming. And _so_ impressive. And I can just tell that you are patient and kind by the way you act around the others,” he goes on, his heartbeat getting faster and faster, words fighting to get out from the prison of his tightened throat. “And you gave me your story, or part of it, with a trust you wouldn’t have shown to anybody else. But the more I know you, the more I talk with you, the more I look into your eyes… I feel like there’s an entire world behind there. I can’t simply _leave_ after all, you know. I can’t…” he gulps and chuckles, not being able to contain his nervousness anymore. “I can’t help but want it. Want you.”

For a few moments, the air seems still. As if something truly froze time and now they are truly destined to be with each other for the eternity. Endou feels the urge to punch that part of him that would wish something like that, because he can’t really trap Gouenji there, with him, because of a stupid and silly feeling he can’t repress anymore.

He’s always been like this, a bit demanding, too naïve to ignore the great scheme of things for the sake of being normal.

Gouenji is staring at him. His blonde hair all disheveled as the ponytail is falling too loose behind him. His black eyes scrutinizing him, like he is trying to spot the lie in his words. He is serious even while he smiles at him: cold, too nervous to show him any glimpse of sympathy he could have for him. “It’s crazy. You really come from the other side of the world, you do… you do your _damn thing_ …” His voice breaks a little and Endou quivers as if it was December. “And then you talk about being soulmates… you expect me to…”

He stiffens and falls silent, unable to finish his sentence. Endou almost feels his struggle, as he passes a hand over his face and for a moment Endou is unable to see him, even under the white light of the streetlamp.

The sound of the cab’s horn interrupts his thoughts. Endou is forced to turn around and meet the driver’s pissed face as he speaks to him with a thick accent Endou can’t decipher. He opens his mouth to ask him to repeat, but Gouenji interjects him.

By the way he moves towards the cab, suddenly playing the part of his interpreter, Endou understands he is upset. He doesn’t dare to move an inch of his body as Gouenji tells the driver the hotel’s address and pays for his ride. But as he passes in front of him, without even crossing eyes with him, Endou grabs him by the wrist on pure instinct and Gouenji is forced to stop. He doesn’t fight him, but his gaze is low on his feet.

“Please Gouenji,” Endou murmurs, not even knowing what he is pleading for.

It doesn’t have to end like this.

The taxi driver has stepped down the vehicle and now he opens the back door with a composure that doesn’t suit his language, neither his annoyance in seeing them standing right there doing nothing. Endou is so antsy that almost relates. His gaze moves from Gouenji’s constipated face to him, almost asking for help.

Then Gouenji gives him a sharp look.

And turns around, getting in the car before Endou can say anything else.

Endou stays there for a while, still a bit in shock, but Gouenji doesn’t give him any other sign, like he is waiting patiently for Endou to join him.

Endou feels like daring once more.


	4. No Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW chapter, emotional penetrative sex
> 
> My first time attempting to write a smut in English lmao sorry

Endou’s mouth is spicy but and tender on his lips, like he is unsure of what he’s doing. Which he hates. “First time?” he mocks him nervously, between a kiss and another, as he ponders if it’s the case to get on it with their mouth aflame because of the ramen. Good thing he likes a bit of spice. “I thought you wanted this,” he murmurs as he lets the door’s room slip and close from the sole push of his left foot. The room is dark and quiet, the calm breeze of the air conditioner making him shiver a little.

Endou chuckles. “I can’t deny it,” he admits. “But I didn’t see it coming”.

“You liar,” Gouenji can’t help but smile upon his lips. They are so full. His mouth is huge, damn it. How else would have been able to contain that smile? Gouenji thinks and thinks and he knows he’s getting lost in his own daydream already. He kisses Endou again as he fears the eventuality of losing himself for real.

“I mean it,” Endou murmurs as he grabs him by his thighs and makes Gouenji yelp as he is forced to cross his legs around his waist and wrap his arms around Endou’s shoulders. Ok, he is strong. Stronger than he thought. But he could have got it by the way he stopped his Fire Tornado with the sole force of his bare hands… that has been _hot_ , and also the main reason he couldn’t look at him in the eyes for the whole night, even if he still doesn’t know if Endou noticed or not.

Endou giggles. It’s clear he’s nervous, too, but still, he says what he thinks. Of course. “You seem unreachable. So far from my league I was unsure if I could tell you what I really meant. I still am, to be honest”.

“Yet you are lifting me up as I’m already yours,” Gouenji tilts his head, as he observed Endou’s face getting purple in the dim light of the streetlamps filtering from the window. He presses a thumb on his lips. Is Endou wrong, though? Gouenji doesn’t know how he managed to not jump on him in the cab already, forcing his gaze and his mind outside of the window. He is Endou’s already. For what sort of sorcery, he doesn’t really know: he still refuses to believe to the soulmate’s theory. Yet, it’s strange. “I have a hard time trusting people,” he confesses. “I’m not into one-night stands”.

Enou indulges into his next kiss, but he can tell he wants to tell him something. He breaks the kiss reluctantly, as he’s met by Endou’s fond, deep gaze. “Is it?” he asks him. “A one-night stand?”

Is he kidding him?

“You have a flight tomorrow morning,” Gouenji reminds him patiently, not knowing why the thought is making him so upset. “A long one,” he remarks, trying to be exhaustive.

Endou drops him gently. They are almost the same eight, but Gouenji feels small. He holds his gaze firmly as he opens his mouth to say: “I know”.

Gouenji crosses his arms, not really upset, just curious at this point. “So, what makes you believe it’s not a once in a lifetime thing?”

“Because there’s a feeling,” Endou tries to explain, scrapping the end of his nape again. “You know, that soulmate thing I told you”.

Gouenji sighs and shakes his head. There sure is a misunderstanding. Endou has always been able to express himself correctly until now, but the true meaning of certain words must be slipping out of his vocabulary. “I can’t deny there’s something here. But this whole talk about soulmates is… please don’t take it the wrong way… just bullshit” he states. “It’s chemistry, Endou”.

“It’s _fate_ ,” Endou retorts promptly.

Gouenji sighs in defeat. Endou must be one of those tough ones and changing his mind might be impossible at this point. But whatever the reason behind his stubbornness, it really doesn’t have any importance: Endou will get it the hard way. At least, it’s not like they are lying to each other and Gouenji must admit that he appreciates Endou’s sincerity. “You talk too much,” he scoffs, smiling at him. 

Endou blinks two or three times before leaving out a chuckle and shaking his head. “Guess there’s no way I’ll change your mind on this,” he murmurs, almost resigned.

“You can still try,” Gouenji says. “You seem to have a good influence on me, after all. I wouldn’t be here with you if that wasn’t the case”.

This seems to give Endou a little hope. If there’s something he learned about him, it’s that more than enough to get him to keep going and Gouenji almost, _almost_ regrets to have said it until he’s pressed by Endou’s whole body against the door, as he kisses him eagerly with renewed passion. So cheap is the cost of the fuel.

“I want this,” Endou babbles. “I want you”.

Gouenji is so overwhelmed he wants to scream. It’s a nice feeling. “Just - _a kiss_ \- at one - _and another_ \- condition”.

“What is it?” Endou murmurs, barely giving him space to breath. It’s like his eyes are telling him: “ _anything you want_ ” and Gouenji feels like melting a little more.

“Protection,” he says, almost whispering.

Endou freezes and for a terrible moment he fears that Endou is going to question it. He doesn’t seem the type. Another matter entirely from his ex, to be fair. But still, that reaction is totally incomprehensible to him. Until…

“I forgot,” Endou murmurs.

Gouenji gives out a quizzical moan.

“I _forgot_!” Endou panics. He gets off him and Gouenji is now able to adjust the sleeve of his sweatshirt up on his lean shoulder. He looks at the goalkeeper in disbelief as if he is going on fire… he _knows_ that condoms are needed, right…?

“What does it mean… you _forgot_?” he mumbles.

“No, yeah. Like… I hadn’t them with me when I arrived in Japan… It’s not like I was planning to get laid, you know?” Endou murmurs in guilt, passing his fingers through his disheveled hair.

Gouenji blushes visibly by the bluntness of those words ( _as if they weren’t getting it on just a second ago…_ ) “Don’t tell me you are a virgin,” he says as he tries to lighten the mood.

“No way!” Endou retorts, almost offended, then all smiley again as he gets that Gouenji is joking. _It’s so easy with him_ , Gouenji thinks. “Well, let’s go buy them together. There’s a kombini right around the corner, I had my first lunch there. Good thing we are still dressed,” Endou adds as he takes his hand and passes him to get to the door. He winks at him and Gouenji smiles. And nods. He doesn’t let him go.

_It’s easy, so easy with him._

Well, not _everything_ is easy with Endou. Or better be said, there are some things that wouldn’t be easy in any circumstance. Gouenji is made aware of it only when confronting the condom’s shelf. He blinks at it like it might be able to talk to him and tell him what exactly he should do.

 _What_ exactly should they buy?

It’s not his first time buying condoms. But he has no idea how things with Endou will work and he’s trying so hard to get a solution in a quick time that time actually overflows and he’s standing there in an odd silence that even Endou is unable to fill. Until he says something apparently really stupid, like: “Well, I though I wouldn’t be able to distinguish them one from another, I guess I was wrong. The problem are the brands. Which are the safest ones?”

Gouenji hates to be the one to answer such a question, but this is enough to break the ice so he’s a little grateful. “I usually choose these ones,” he quivers as he points at a selection of violet boxes. Endou stares at them for a few moments.

“Well, should we get one box for each?” he suggests, almost pensive.

Ok, he’s _too_ natural with the topic to be a virgin. Gouenji had it coming. He nods as he lets his hand wander towards the row of boxes in search for his type and blushes as their hands collide. Endou smiles at him in apology.

 _Then he grabs the biggest size_.

“ _Wait, what?_ ”

“What?” Endou replies, innocently.

Gouenji stares at the box like it’s the answer to all the mysteries of that damn universe. Yes, also the whole “soulmate” thing Endou babbles about from time to time. “Enough with the jokes, put it down!” he scoffs.

“But that’s my size,” Endou blushes violently, and he’s clearly giggling.

Gouenji’s eyes widen. “I know you are trying to fool me,” he protests, but he can’t really hold his smile. “Cut it out!”

He pouts awkwardly as he puts the box back in its place. “Ok, you got me. I’m not that big,” he confesses, as he takes the _next smaller_ size.

Gouenji stares at him in muteness for a while. He is taking his box as he finally manages to speak: “Does this trick really work with every chick you lay your eyes on?” he jokes, not really joking. He feels almost pathetic, getting that jealous over a stranger.

“Only with you, apparently,” Endou grins. “You should have seen your face, eheh”.

_This sassy bitch right here…_

“Ok, we get it, _you top_ ,” Gouenji grumbles as he grabs a random lube and reaches for the counter.

Endou doesn’t confirm neither deny it. He just chuckles and follows him like a loyal, playful dog.

Gouenji is starting to believe that something _is_ really there by the time they get on bed and start undressing, and he feels _so_ relaxed it’s unbelievable. He’s never been a nervous type of person in general, but with Endou everything seems so natural it’s like they know each other from ages. He couldn’t explain in any other way the way he starts kissing Endou’s neck and collarbones as soon as his orange t-shirt is out of his way and Endou giggles like he’s tickling him. He feels his palms on his bare hips, placed so perfectly on his dry skin and so damn rough he can feel every single callous.

“Can I?” Endou says as he raises them higher on his waist, and Gouenji nods. He feels so sensitive.

It’s been some time.

He’s never been too conscious about his body. To be fair, he’s always been so proud of his workout regime. As Endou traces the dips on his abdomen he can’t help to smirk at him, and he is soon reciprocated. Their eyes meet and it’s like they have been doing this for years and years. The chemistry is almost breathtaking. Maybe they _are_ soulmates, in an odd, fabulous way, but Gouenji can’t admit it that soon.

“How should we do this?” Endou whispers, visibly embarrassed but still smiling cheekily like a happy child. Gouenji thinks he feel that kind of euphoria too. It’s like they are exploring some place entirely new.

“Can I face you?” Gouenji asks. “Lights still off, though”.

“Ok,” Endou murmurs, but instead of placing him on the bed he holds him closer and invites him to get on his lap, something Gouenji does almost automatically. He didn’t expect it. They are so close their chests are touching, and he can feel him in ways he didn’t know were possible.

“Our hearts beat as one,” Endou comments. Gouenji wants to pretend it isn’t true. He stares at him for seconds that feel like minutes, as Endou caresses his thighs contently. Gouenji’s heartbeat accelerates, and it does a little flip when Endou’s big hand slips into his underwear.

That’s the moment he realizes it’s really happening.

Gouenji lets out a little gasp as he puts his arms around Endou’s shoulders and let it be.

“Tell me and I’ll stop,” Endou assures him as they help each other out of their pants. Gouenji nods absently, quietly shivering as he hears the little snap of the lube being opened. He feels Endou massaging his back in circular moves and exhales slowly, softly placing his mouth on Endou’s shoulder and kissing it gently. The position is almost too intimate to handle, but at least he’s not forced to look at him in the eyes. Though he can almost see the expression he makes as he chuckles nervously and pauses.

“What is it?” Gouenji asks, turning his head towards him without really raising it from the warm of his bronze skin.

“There’s something scratchy here,” Endou apologize, as he pulls away a little. Gouenji looks down in unison and notices he is still wearing his necklace.

Endou takes the silver pendant between his fingers and studies it for a while. “It’s a soccer boot,” he observes.

Gouenji doesn’t know how to feel. It’s the first time in a while someone notices it, as it’s always tucked under his shirt or blouse. “Sorry. Do you want me to take it off?”

“No, no,” Endou rushes. “I find it almost poetic to be fair. It’s really like soccer is connecting us”.

Gouenji smiles. “It’s from that time, you know”.

Endou raises his eyes at him. “When you played in middle school?”

“Yeah”.

He returns studying it like it’s some precious gem and smiles fondly. “It really came all the way… You must really love soccer. As I thought”.

Gouenji sighs as he takes the pendant from Endou’s fingers and gives it a look. “It might be the case. But it’s not just that. It’s an old lucky charm that my little sister gave me back then,” he explains, like he’s not even talking about himself anymore.

Endou’s grip on his waist tightens gently. They are so near he can almost feel his smile on the surface of his neck. “She must be someone special”.

Gouenji purses his lips. He looks at Endou, the necklace slipping from his hand as the realization hits him first after a long time. “ _She was_ ,” he murmurs.

It’s not like he forgot. He could never. But here, between Endou’s arms, it’s so vivid and real it hurts like he’s thirteen once again and he’s standing in front of her memorial with flowers in his right hand, the left one enveloped in the tight grasp of his father’s, tears overflowing and making him feel ashamed for no reason at all. He can’t remember a worse feeling than that.

Endou’s smile vanishes instantly and it changes into something impenetrable. It’s the first time Gouenji can’t read Endou’s face at all and it’s almost scared by the sensation, but soon he realizes that whatever he’s feeling right now, is deeper and more evident than he thinks. Endou is just _worried_. Gouenji feels his own breath becoming irregular and unsteady and his eyes stinging a little. He looks at Endou in a daze, unable to understand what is happening inside him. Endou’s serious expression is hidden from his sight as tears start welling up in his eyes.

And then Endou’s lips are on his, the gesture almost like a medicine for his thoughts. Endou moves and it’s like a button is being switched off. His hands are all over him. “Babe,” he simply whispers, and the pet name should sound as something ridiculous, but it isn’t. It’s soothing. And it’s making his mind doing actual things.

“Sorry,” Gouenji murmurs right after, realizing what has just happened.

“Don’t be,” Endou murmurs. His eyes are big and bright despite the dim light coming from the street. “Don’t you ever feel sorry. You are being yourself. And you are just gorgeous. You are so strong, Gouenji, the strongest person I’ve ever met”.

Gouenji nods as he sinks his face into Endou’s shoulder and finds comfort in Endou’s soft touch. He’s never been so vulnerable in front of a stranger throughout his life, the feeling almost overwhelms him. There’s no shame, no space for _guilt_. There’s just Endou. Around him and over him, as he places him gently on the sheets and dries his tears and kisses him gently. “We can stop here if you want,” he murmurs, caressing his hair. He seems sad, like something’s bothering him. “I can be too much at times”.

It sounds weird coming from his mouth. Gouenji shakes his head, chasing away the last thoughts. “Not at all,” he rushes. “It’s… not your fault. I know it didn’t look like that but… I think I’m over it. It’s been years after all,” he tries to explain, as his voice feels too little coming from his own throat. Endou nods, understanding, keeping on coming his blond hair with his fingers. Gouenji stops talking for a while, unsure of what to do next. Then he just says it: “It’s just… I’ve never felt like this before. It’s just like you _get_ me… It’s like…”

Endou’s smirk almost makes him blush. “… We are soulmates?”

Another Gouenji would have laughed it off. _This_ Gouenji is now contemplating the thought for the first time since they met. It was so easy with him, so damn easy it’s crazy, and now here there is, between his arms, bare and exposed as he’s never been before. It’s like any of his secrets is meaningless at this point: Endou just seems to _get_ every single one of them without even forcing them out of his mouth.

“I don’t know anymore at this point,” he just says earnestly. “But I don’t want to stop”.

“Ok,” Endou simply says.

His gaze is so fond and penetrant it makes Gouenji shiver.

Endou takes a while, almost as if he wants to make sure he’s really alright. He keeps on massaging his neck and shoulders, kissing him softly on his mouth as he waits patiently for their breaths to synchronize. Then his hands wander over his body, gently moving down to grasp his thighs once again and depart them with a gesture. He’s slow, maybe too slow, as he retrieves the lube from the white sheets and starts pouring it on his hands to warm it, almost meticulous.

Gouenji can’t stand it. He looks up at the ceiling, suddenly nervous, as he feels Endou’s movements in front of him. A sort of wild excitement fills him as the expectation make his toes curl. And then it just _happens_.

“Gorgeous,” Endou exhales as he hears Gouenji hissing. The first finger deep in him to the knuckle, moving almost impatiently. Gouenji raises his arms and crosses them around Endou’s broad shoulders. “Go on,” he says desperately. “I can take it”.

Endou obeys as a second finger finds a space beside the index. Gouenji almost marvels at how thick they are, comparing to his, slender and just made for surgery. Endou moves them in and out of him, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he searches for his prostate, making Gouenji wonder again if he’s ever done something like this before. By the way the other man spots it after a few seconds, making him moan and shiver and crumble, he’s pretty sure the answer is yes.

“You are cute,” Gouenji laughs it off, already breathless.

“Not as much as you,” Endou promptly answers, smiling shyly and working on his entrance after coating his fingers with another generous amount of lube and running them on his cock, condom on already from when he wasn’t looking. Now Gouenji stares. Then he raises his eyes just to cross Endou’s gaze and realizes he’s observing him as well.

He bents down to kiss his neck once again. Three fingers, just in time to hear him whispering in his ear: “You are so beautiful like this, you have no idea”.

“It’s dark,” Gouenji scoffs, almost challenging him. “Are you really seeing me, or you are just imagining it?”

Endou smiles on his skin. “I think I have a pretty good idea of how hot you are either way”.

Gouenji turns his head and presses his cheek on the pillow as he laughs for how silly it sounds, but even then, he can’t hold a moan as he feels Endou’s fingers stretching him open. He’s already used to the sensation two minutes in but again, there’s no need to say it out loud, as Endou takes them out without notice.

“You are pretty flexible, you knew that?” he says as he takes position. Gouenji looks up, as he feels one Endou’s wet hand lifting one of his legs. His eyes wander on his abs and then even lower, right where their body are just ready to collide.

He doesn’t even have the time to answer that. Instead, a low grumble erupts from his mouth as Endou starts to fuck him nice and slow, heavy groans leading his thrusts as he easily picks up speed. “Gorgeous,” he repeats, and nothing more, as Gouenji’s moans are the ones filling the room. It gets to the point he’s even unable to keep steady, as he’s forced to tighten his grip on Endou’s back to not crumble under his weight.

He can tell Endou is overwhelmed too by the way he presses his nose on his shoulder and starts muffling any kind of sound on his brown skin. Gouenji presses a hand on his nape, wild dark hair between his fingers getting wet from the sweat. Mouth wide open as he moans his name.

He’s sure Endou’s orgasm could fill him to the brim.

“Endou,” he chants. “Endou, Endou, En-- dou…”

The other man keeps quiet until he can’t anymore, getting louder and louder ad his thrusts gets more erratic over time. Gouenji realizes his skin is wet with drool and tears as the climax gets him almost too soon.

He loses grip on reality for moments that feels more like minutes.

Endou stops right after, his hips twitching inside him as he fills him perfectly. He hasn’t come yet.

“A-are you alright?” Gouenji babbles, still trying to catch his breath and vision blurry, a bit ashamed by how fast he came. He lowers his head, hands still pressed on Endou’s back and legs wrapped around his waist.

Endou shakes his head, forehead still pressed on his shoulder. Gouenji’s hand is on his hair, tossing it gently as he helps him come to his senses, reaching for one of his big hands and kissing it all over. Endou raises his head and looks at him and he’s totally _devasted_. His plump lips pursed like he’s in deep pain.

“You are so hot inside I feel like dying,” he confesses, voice harsh with want.

Gouenji blinks at him as he tries to laugh. He can’t. “I want to fuck you,” he says instead.

Endou’s wet eyes are on his and Gouenji gets suddenly overwhelmed by the same, gut-wrenching awareness.

“Do it,” Endou pleads him. “Just for this night, _Shuuya_ ”.

He does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue is still missing: coming soon! I'm going to post it by the end of this week! Thank you for reading :)


	5. Loved you all along

Endou can hear his soft breath from behind him.

He doesn’t dare to turn around and look. Not yet.

He’s sure Gouenji is awake though, his eyes piercing through his back as black needles, keeping silent. The soft noise of sheets as he turns to him is proof enough. But Endou can’t force himself to do the same, the courage of the night prior all gone, probably washed away the very second he entered the shower and there he realized what has just happened.

He has just fallen in love. 

As he packets the beauty case in his small, old luggage, the last thing to even fit before he closes the zip, it’s like he has come to a conclusion. When he finally turns towards Gouenji, is not because of courage. He’s not sure he can in fact stand his gaze anymore. It’s more because of an epiphany.

“I’m sorry I said we are soulmates,” he manages to say. “That was cruel”.

Gouenji takes a while to answer. “I guess so,” he just says, returning to lay his back on the soft covers, head on the pillow with his blond hair all over the place, liquid eyes staring at the ceiling as if he’s pensive. Endou eventually looks at him and feels like he would die. He would die for this man right here. It’s so pathetic and yet he can’t quite deny it.

If only Gouenji felt the same. But he can’t, and Endou must accept it, as every time he fell so easily and had to let it go.

It’s hard.

And laughing is his only way to cope.

“I would definitely like to ask Natsumi to invite me over more often in the future but… I’ll make sure to thank her in any case”.

Gouenji scoffs. His head lulls to the side and Endou blushes seeing him so relaxed and content, still surrendered to his bliss. He’s beautiful like this, with rays of sunshine kissing his skin from the open window. “Do you really need it, though?” he indulges. “Her invite?”

Endou doesn’t know anymore how his words make him feel every time.

“I mean,” he chuckles, “I don’t even have the money for the drive from the village to the airport if I have to be honest”.

Gouenji blinks, as if confused. “Damn. My abilities as a money digger must be lowest than I thought, then”.

Endou isn’t sure if he got it correctly. He stares at him a moment too long and then he says: “What?”

“What?” Gouenji says as well, his eyelash fluttering as he’s mocking him for the night before. And he’s also the first to burst into laughing, something rare, which makes Endou’s heart melt even more. Maybe there’s hope, but he must stop himself there. Unless he wants to return to Cotarl with a broken heart. Which would be only fair at this point, after trying to lure Gouenji into his selfish desires.

“Seriously though, I should answer her,” he quickly tries to change subject, as he shows Gouenji his phone, all the missed calls and messages flooding the screen. “I don’t know, I don’t even have the time to say her and Rococo goodbye properly. I mean, they should come back to Cotarl after their honeymoon, but still…”

Gouenji looks at him without saying anything, sitting up and standing bare as the soft sheets drop down to unveil his body. He’s looking at him with a serious expression, almost intimidating. “You should call her,” he finally nods with a strange tone, as if he isn’t thinking about Natsumi at all. It’s like he noticed he’s embarrassed and was actually unpleased by it.

Endou gulps as Gouenji reaches out his arms and wraps them around his waist, inviting him closer. Standing up, Endou has to look down at him to make eye contact. “Did you call your Uber yet?”

“Uhm, yes,” Endou answers, too flustered to react to anything Gouenji is doing. It’s the first time he has seen him take action, except that time he got in that cab for him. Gouenji has a totally unknown kind of energy when he does that, and Endou wonders if he’s aware of it.

“Ok,” Gouenji says, and stands up slowly until their faces are at the same level and their mouths meet once again.

Endou gets lost in the kiss immediately, his hands cupping Gouenji’s cheeks as his lips move in a slow caress. He must not cry. But it’s hard, the lump in his throat becoming harder to swallow every second passing and Gouenji’s hands trembling slightly and sinking in his hair. It’s the wildest of the sensations.

“Endou,” Gouenji just murmurs as they depart, before kissing him again. And again.

“Can I give you my phone number, yeah?” Endou asks with a bit of urgency.

Gouenji nods. “Yeah,” he whispers.

Endou smiles, feeling the luckiest person on the planet earth. A very wrecked one, though. “Did I impress you that much?” he winks, feeling refreshened by that sudden rush of self-confidence.

“I think it’s pretty obvious at this point,” Gouenji smiles, almost shyly. Endou captures one lock of hair between his fingers and start curling it. He looks at Gouenji’s gaze becoming softer and softer. “I don’t know if we really are soulmates. But I’m not mad at you for repeating that over and over, though it was pretty strange. Because I… felt it too”.

Endou must chuckle at that. He is so used to be ridiculed that Gouenji’s ability to understand him and respect him despite his oddness gives him chills.

“We would have been best friends,” Gouenji concludes, smiling up at him. “In another life”. He looks up at him and his eyes are shining bright with tears.

“Yeah,” Endou murmurs, too touched to say something coherent.

He kisses Gouenji again and he feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3 Please let me know if you liked it, even just a little bit! <3 Byeeee

**Author's Note:**

> A little clarification >> in this universe everything is quite the same, except for the fact that nobody knows anything about Inazuma Eleven, or Kageyama and Garshield's plans. Daisuke sorts everything out by himself in the FFI... Endou isn't there to help him, anyway. And the Little Giants win the championship.  
> I would really really like to explain how things went between Kidou and Gouenji but... Next time.  
> No aliens 👽👽 of course......  
> And yes, [redacted] really died.  
> I think that's all :)


End file.
